so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
