Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Quick, to the slutcave!
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
