How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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