I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
mondays should just be called national damage control day
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
