i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
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