I'm passing your future prison.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
