She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
