Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
