i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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