I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
