wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
