I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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