This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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