somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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