Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize