It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
