More tranny stories later!
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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