did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
