i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
