I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
