twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
