i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
did i just pee glitter
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
