I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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