you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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