): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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