My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
