You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
