If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I looked at my own cervix.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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