I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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