Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
