people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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