The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
