Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
