North Korea, Best Korea!
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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