I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
