I wannas sexs uuuuu
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
