So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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