And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
