fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Text me some of your sweat
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
