i think i have herpe
just one?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
