Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize
