ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Randomize
