Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
