i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
