You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Randomize
