So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
