capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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