Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
