I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
When are your genitals available?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
