To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I'm having to shit out rocks
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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