Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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