Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
