why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize